52 Years Later

                                                              Marilyn Monroe in Niagara

52 years later.... 52 years after her death, Marilyn Monroe is a bigger icon today than during her lifetime. And she was an icon during her lifetime, a burden that she wasn't strong enough to carry. People often ask me why or how I became interested in this long gone Hollywood actress. Sometimes that question is meant to be hateful such as, "How can you admire some who was a (slut, drug addict, bad actress) or committed suicide?" "What made you think she would be a good role model?"

Whenever I hear this I just want to scream, but instead I just sigh and tell people that they don't know the first thing about her. So much of Marilyn's legend is steeped in lies, rumor, and innuendo. Some of the lies were told by Marilyn herself, possibly in an attempt to elicit sympathy from others, or maybe just to hide the true story of her past. But most stories that have become part of what the public has come to know about Marilyn Monroe are nothing but made up falsehoods from people who barely knew a woman is now dead and cannot defend herself. Even most quotes attributed to Marilyn are outright fakes.

So why did I become fascinated with Marilyn Monroe? Why does she still hold a special magic, that for me and many others, has left us entranced for the past half a century? My story and reasons are very similar to pretty much every MM fan that I've ever met.

I fell in love with Marilyn when I was 15 years old. I was planning to do research on a role that I wanted to audition for in my high school's musical. I went down to the local video store to rent the musical on VHS (I'm showing my age a bit) but it wasn't available. So instead I decided to rent another video from the classic films section. They had a few Marilyn movies on hand and I decided to rent Gentlemen Prefer Blondes because I thought, "Let's see what all the fuss was about this woman.". Well needless to say, I figured it out and I watch the film several times over the next week. Not too long later The Diamond Collection, containing 5 of her films plus the Last Days documentary, was released and I bought it. I watched all of the films numerous times and then set out to read up on my new obsession.

The first book about Marilyn Monroe that I ever read was entitled, Marilyn: Her Life in Her Own Words, by George Barris. The book contained many of the final photographs ever taken of her. But it was her words that struck me. In it, she talks about her childhood and I started to see some interesting parallels with my own. I was kind of a sad girl at this time, having gone through a lot up to then. In Marilyn I found a kindred spirit, someone who went through many of the things that I had gone through.

I didn't have a lot of confidence during this time. My hair was too thick and frizzy, I had braces, I didn't feel thin enough, yadda yadda. Marilyn, to me, was the ideal woman. I had always wanted to be a platinum blonde, and in fact the only other women that I had an obsession with in my life were Barbie and Baby Spice. When I was about 20 years old, I was in a really lonely place and once again I turned to Marilyn. I had by this time collected a few books in which I read about her eating and exercise habits, her beauty routine, etc. They were like my own personal beauty books. I studied her clothes and become obsessed with the vintage style. I tried to replicate her makeup and facial features with my magical makeup wand and I practiced the Marilyn smile and half closed eye look in the mirror. I hadn't yet took the plunge into blondeness, but I was on my way. Some of you may think that this was unhealthy, that I was carrying around an unhealthy obsession, but to this day I just see that time as becoming the person that I was meant to be.

Less than a year later, I went blonde for the first time. This was done in two steps, but I remember the first time I looked in the mirror after becoming my current shade of blonde. Never could I have known that changing my hair color to what I had been coveting my entire life would change me so much. This was right after I had moved to California and was beginning my "transformation" of mind, body, and soul. At this time, my loneliness was starting to be replaced with happiness due to the wonderful people who came into my life at this time. I also started working at a theatre, playing lead roles in many shows, which boosted my confidence immensely, and provided me with the most amazing friends a girl could ask for. I don't want to say that being blonde like Marilyn changed me as a person, but it started me on that path.

Now that I was an actress (dahhhling), I turned to Marilyn as a acting teacher. Now for those of you who believe she wasn't a good actress, please ACTUALLY watch her films, especially Bus Stop, The Prince and The Showgirl, and The Misfits. But there are so many more (Niagara, Don't Bother to Knock, Some Like It Hot). Marilyn was a better actress than most give her credit for because they actually BELIEVE that she was a dumb blonde! Ha! She was an incredibly well-read, poetry writing, classically trained actress, who studied with Michael Chekhov and Lee Strasberg. Her acting was praised by some of the most highly regarded actors and directors in history, such as Sir Laurence Oliver, Marlon Brando, Billy Wilder, and Elia Kazan. She was a two time Golden Globe winner, as well as numerous European acting awards on par with the Academy Awards in America. (Don't get me started on the politics of the Oscars.) But I digress.

Marilyn was a very meticulous performer. She studied, and studied, and studied her craft. She took dance lessons, singing lessons, modeling classes, as well as studying acting with incredible acting coaches. She never gave up on becoming an actress for she knew that her talent was there and she was certainly worth it. She dreamed hard and look where it got her. So yes, she is an incredible inspiration.

Two of my greatest and most cherished friends came into my life because of our shared love of Marilyn. My dear friend David, I met through the message board on the official Marilyn Monroe website (which is shit and a poor excuse for an "official" site). David is a person who changed my life because he came into it at a time when I needed him the most. He touched my soul in a special way and through our shared love of Marilyn Monroe, we formed a great friendship. Sadly, he passed away from lung cancer in 2008 and I miss him everyday.

The second person is my friend Charlie, who is a loud Aussie who I also met on the message boards and has become like a sister to me. We initially also bonded over our shared adulation, but soon we found other things in common, such as the fact that we both have Filipino mothers (mine is my stepmother for those of you wondering why I don't look half Asian). Trust me, having a Filipino mother is an adventure all it's own. I wouldn't have these friends without Marilyn Monroe.

So on this 52nd anniversary of her death, this is how I pay tribute to my idol. Why do I love Marilyn? Because she simply gives me pure joy. She inspires me to be a better performer, cherish my true friends, and never, ever give up.

I think Lee Strasberg described Marilyn in the simplest and most beautiful way when he presented his eulogy at her funeral service:


                Marilyn Monroe’s Eulogy presented by Lee Strasberg

Marilyn Monroe was a legend. In her own lifetime she created a myth of what a poor girl from a deprived background could attain. For the entire world she became a symbol of the eternal feminine.

But I have no words to describe the myth and the legend. I did not know this Marilyn Monroe. We gathered here today, knew only Marilyn – a warm human being, impulsive and shy, sensitive and in fear of rejection, yet ever avid for life and reaching out for fulfillment.

I will not insult the privacy of your memory of her – a privacy she sought and treasured – by trying to describe her whom you knew to you who knew her. In our memories of her, she remains alive and not only a shadow on the screen or a glamorous personality.

Despite the heights and brilliance she attained on the screen, she was planning for the future; she was looking forward to participating in the many exciting things which she planned. In her eyes and in mine her career was just beginning. The dream of her talent, which she had nurtured as a child, was not a mirage.For us Marilyn was a devoted and loyal friend, a colleague constantly reaching for perfection. We shared her pain and difficulties and some of her joys. She was a member of our family. It is difficult to accept the fact that her zest for life has been ended by this dreadful accident.

When she first came to me I was amazed at the startling sensitivity which she possessed and which had remained fresh and undimmed, struggling to express itself despite the life to which she had been subjected. Others were as physically beautiful as she was, but there was obviously something more in her, something that people saw and recognized in her performances and with which they identified.

She had a luminous quality – a combination of wistfulness, radiance, yearning – to set her apart and yet make everyone wish to be a part of it, to share in the childish naivete which was so shy and yet so vibrant.

This quality was even more evident when she was in the stage. I am truly sorry that the public who loved her did not have the opportunity to see her as we did, in many of the roles that foreshadowed what she would have become. Without a doubt she would have been one of the really great actresses of the stage. Now it is at an end. I hope her death will stir sympathy and understanding for a sensitive artist and a woman who brought joy and pleasure to the world.

I cannot say goodbye. Marilyn never liked goodbyes, but in the peculiar way she had of turning things around so that they faced reality – I will say au revoire. For the country to which she has gone, we must all someday visit.

                                                      June 1st, 1926- August 5th, 1962  

Love Always, 

Cherie